help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
