I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
