pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My pussy is not your playground.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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