Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
