im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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