Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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