Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
