if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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