I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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