If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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