If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
