Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Even my vagina gasped.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
