so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize