I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
