Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
