So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
