She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
