Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
