What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
