my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
did i walk over a car last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
