I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
