i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
