I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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