Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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