I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
