It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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