His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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