Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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