Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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