you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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