then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
