Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
