My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
