so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
