I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
