So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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