I puked a lego.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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