Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
