I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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