People with herpes should wear stickers.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
