I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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