We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
