wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
