have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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