omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
