I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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