He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
