I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
