I'm jealous of your bromance
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
