i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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